


I'm only gonna tear you apart

by FunkyinFishnet



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Bath Sex, Bathing/Washing, Car Accidents, Comfort Sex, Hurt/Comfort, Love, M/M, Male Slash, Worry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-17
Updated: 2013-08-17
Packaged: 2017-12-23 19:29:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/930225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FunkyinFishnet/pseuds/FunkyinFishnet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Felipe's crashes at the 2013 Monaco Grand Prix don't do Rob any favours. In the aftermath, they know exactly what they need - each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm only gonna tear you apart

**Author's Note:**

> My eternal thanks to gemjam who always comes through for me with enthusiasm, betaing, and wonderful support and friendship. Thank you <3

_Oh, Christ, not again_

 

Rob was glued to his monitor, heartbeat going a mile a minute. The car was in a right state, all four corners crushed and breaking apart after the entire vehicle had careened into a barrier. Thank fuck the Monaco marshals were the best on the circuit; they were already brandishing fire extinguishers and hastening medics over. Felipe was moving, thank God.

 

Felipe was moving, and that was all that mattered. Well, the several million pounds worth of Ferrari car that needed to be in racing-shape by qualifying was also pretty important and Rob had to study reams of data in order to work out just what the fuck had happened, but the point still stood, Felipe was moving.

 

Rob tried to peel his eyes away from the monitor, he had work to do, but he couldn’t move. Everybody was rushing around in the Ferrari garage, just like he should be, but he couldn’t stop watching. There was Felipe, struggling out of the cockpit, face screwed up in pain, shaky on his feet, but not limping or holding any limb awkwardly. Still the medics were checking his neck, his eyes, before moving him away from the crash site as a truck was brought in for the debris. Rob only had eyes for Felipe.

 

“Rob.” That was Stefano, brief kindness mixed in with serious tension on his face. “I need analysis.”

 

“On it.”

 

Felipe would want answers too. Rob forced himself to focus on a different monitor, on the stream of numbers and stats. Felipe was fine. Once Rob’s heart started believing that then maybe it’d stop racing like the car just had been. That’d be helpful.

 

*

 

When Felipe eventually came back to the garage, he accepted the concern everyone directed at him but was more interested in the car. Would he be able to make qualifying? It looked like 'maybe' was the only answer he was going to get. Rob concentrated on his facts and figures and the wreckage that the team had been poring over. Good news, it wasn’t a car problem; the car had been working fine. Which brought on the bad news, and Rob would have to tell both Stefano and Felipe.

 

He knew Felipe was there but if he looked up, even just a glance, he wouldn’t be able to look away again and right now, his boss needed answers. Then Rob could stare at Felipe all he liked.

 

Stefano was there at his shoulder, Felipe only a step or two behind him. Rob breathed him in, his presence, Felipe was there, he was fine. Then he scribbled a final note and looked up. Felipe had his serious face on, it was a mask at the moment, Rob could see that clearly. Felipe didn’t want to be here either; he wanted to be relaxing somewhere, lying out comfortably, hopefully next to Rob. Rob let his gaze scan Felipe quickly before he focused on Stefano. They’d get through this a lot quicker if Rob kept his focus tight.

 

“The short of it is driver error,” he said it quick and blunt, like ripping off a plaster. “Nothing pinged in the car. They’re tooth-combing it as we speak but the overview is, the mechanics and electrics all seem fine.”

 

Stefano nodded and rested a hand on Felipe’s shoulder. There wasn’t any blame on his face but his words were careful and quiet. “This course is distracting, yes?”

 

Felipe nodded, his expression extremely sorry. “I take the turn and...I don't know, something happen and I not make it.”

 

Stefano squeezed his shoulder before letting go. “We aim to have the car fit for qualifying. Make sure you are too.”

 

It was a slight warning and Rob got it, nodding before he forwarded his findings onto the right people. Once Stefano had gone, Felipe leaned closer, his breath warm and vital. His arm pressed against Rob’s. The solidity of it made Rob’s own breathing shudder, just a little bit, and he knew that his smile was pretty mangled when he finally looked up at Felipe again. Felipe was staring intently at him, as though he could hold Rob there by the power of his stare alone. Fair enough, he probably could, but sadly they both had a lot to do before anything like what was going on in both their heads could actually take place.

 

“You will work late,” Felipe guessed.

 

Rob nodded, that was a foregone conclusion. “You want to take a look at the onboards? I can get video for you.”

 

It was Felipe's turn to nod. “Yes, other views too, that way I see where I make mistake.”

 

That would be easy enough to sort. Rob made a note on his paper, God he had a lot of work to do tonight, though admittedly he had it easier than the garage crew. They had to work fingers to bone, trying to get Felipe's car back into qualifying condition. It was a massive ask, but they'd put every second they could into making it happen. Felipe was a lucky boy, in more ways than one.

 

Felipe's hand on Rob's stilled the engineer's flying thoughts. He glanced up at Felipe, a question clear on his face. They weren't usually tactile in the garage, who they were to each other wasn't a secret but they didn't exactly indulge at work. There were always too many other things going on. But now Felipe was focused and deliberate and it meant something obviously important so Rob waited expectantly.

 

“I think we no see each other 'til tomorrow, yes?”

 

Rob's stomach took a nosedive and he frowned, but in his heart he knew Felipe was right. As much as Felipe needed to lose himself and hold tight to Rob, more than that, he had to recalibrate himself, smooth out the shakes and worries that such a crash had resurfaced. Rob absolutely got that; it didn't mean he had to like it though.

 

His hand caressed Felipe's briefly before letting go. He had to make this quick and painless and get back to work before his mind got hooked here – a difficult ask since his mind, and other things, were always hooked on Felipe. But they could both compartmentalise and right now they both had to. So Rob cleared his throat and nodded.

 

“I'll see you later, yeah?”

 

Felipe's smile was small and sweet, the sort of expression that the cameras never got to see, and Rob treasured it. That'd keep him going through the long hours ahead.

 

“Of course.”

 

They held each other's gazes for a moment, then Felipe stepped back and headed towards the monitors on the other side of the garage. Distance was probably the best idea. Felipe needed to race and they both needed to focus in order to make that happen.

 

Rob took a deep breath and tucked away the fear that seeing Felipe crash always brought up. He could deal with that later, just like Felipe would. Right now, they had a car to rebuild and a crash to analyse. Rob could ask someone else to do that last bit, but it was his job and he was fucking great at it and the truth was he needed to see it through himself.

 

So he grabbed his computer tablet and got himself a corner of the garage to make home for the next few hours. Videos were being sent to him and already preliminary analysis of the car was coming in. Rob took a final thirsty look at Felipe, who was talking very seriously amongst a group of people bunched around a monitor, and then shoved his headphones on. Time to get down to business.

 

*

 

By the time the race started on Sunday, Rob had gotten little sleep. Both Friday night and Saturday night, he and Felipe had slept in the same bed but hadn't actually talked. They'd both been too fried for anything like that. Felipe had curled around Rob, silently needy for contact which was fine by Rob. He could do with some reassurance himself. For now, that was enough.

 

And now they had to race. Rob was crouched by Felipe's car on the grid. Felipe himself was sat in it, a steady focused look on his face, earbuds plugged in. He didn't look like a man who'd crashed recently; he looked like a man determined to win. Good lad. Rob knocked his fist gently against Felipe's helmet, which was sat in front of the driver. Felipe's gaze darted towards him and filled up with a smile. Rob couldn't help smiling back. God, the boy was beautiful.

 

“Okay, so it’s all about tyre maintenance today, yeah? Keep it steady, I'll let you know when you can start pushing it.”

 

Felipe actually rolled his eyes as he slipped his helmet on, his voice coming out muffled. “Yes, yes, you repeat this so often; I think I speak it in my sleep.”

 

Charming. The boy might be beautiful, but he was also a brat. Rob knocked his knuckles to the side of the helmet again, this time more firmly, gaining a shove from Felipe that ended with their hands entangling and squeezing hard for a moment. That was all they were going to give the world's media, who should be focusing on the race anyway. Rob managed a smile.

 

“Have a good one.”

 

_“Você também.”_

 

And then Rob had to head back to the pit wall, leaving Felipe ringed by cameras, engineers, and crew. The race was starting soon and Felipe needed to get into that headspace. So did Rob. He took his seat and checked his monitors, everything was looking right, before checking that his headphones and mic were working. Felipe signalled that they were, his hands flexing on the steering wheel.

 

Rob rolled his shoulders and tapped a pen against his tablet. Felipe was fine. Felipe was fine. Felipe was fine. That train of thought didn't stop the run of goosebumps down his back though, nor the way his teeth were on edge despite how tip-top the car looked. He had to focus. Felipe was going to be fine. Just fine.

 

*

 

When Felipe crashed in the exact same spot that he'd crashed during free practice, Rob just about managed not to swear loudly and explosively over the team radio. It was a near thing though, and he knew that he probably looked white-faced and sweaty as fuck, but God, okay, this was _not_ fine. Not at all.

 

Felipe was fine. Felipe was moving. The medics had him out of the car pretty quickly and were checking his vitals. Okay, good. He was moving just fine, a little shaken up, of course but he was fine.

 

Rob stared for a bit, to properly reassure himself, as much as he could when Felipe wasn't within touching distance. Then, after five minutes staring, he forced himself to look at his other monitors. There was data that Stefano and many others would want as quickly as possible. It all seemed to swim before Rob's eyes though.

 

“Rob?”

 

And there was Stefano, who must have been giving Rob a little bit of space to gather himself before stepping in to get answers. Rob nodded shakily and cleared his throat.

 

“Inconclusive right now, we need to do more digging.”

 

Stefano nodded, a troubled expression dominating his face. He didn’t have to tell Rob to get all the specs and analysis sorted because that was what Rob was there for. He did pat Rob on the back though and look considerably older for a second before heading back into the gaggle of Ferrari shirts preparing for the second incoming wrecked car of the weekend. God, what a shitty couple of days…

 

Rob worked, with one eye on the monitor. Felipe was being tended to. Rob drew figures together and extrapolated and concluded and sent findings to all relevant parties. Felipe was being helped off the track, he could walk without aid but the medical staff stayed close to him just in case. Rob checked over the data being sent to him from the crash site, nothing substantive yet but getting to be useful. Felipe was lost amongst the crowds, no doubt being taken somewhere for a more thorough medical once-over. Rob…Rob had memories of Felipe in that Hungarian hospital streaming through his head. Felipe’s bruised face and the faulty memories he'd voiced and…

 

Felipe was fine. He was fine, he was moving and responsive. And Rob had work to do. He directed his eyes back down to his notes and picked up where he’d left off. It was his responsibility to make sure that the likelihood of this happening again was dramatically reduced and he was fucking awesome at his job. And once he was done, properly done, he could go and see Felipe.

 

Rob redoubled his efforts.

 

*

 

By the time he was done, the night sky was practically inky black with the usual sounds of Monaco parties filling the blank spaces. Rob waved his goodbyes to the crew left packing everything onto the Ferrari trucks. After most races, he’d be on the motorhome quick-sharp, but this was Monaco, where Felipe lived, and they had two weeks until the next race. So instead, Rob headed towards the place that Felipe called home.

 

Thankfully the press were much more interested in covering Nico’s win and subsequent partying – Rob would definitely be buying him a drink the next time that they bumped into each other, he owed Nico that much for taking the attention off everyone else. Rob had a nice clean run back to Felipe’s Monaco property, a flat in one of the poshest areas, nice and close to the water. Rob nodded to the concierge and made his way up in the lift, his heart already beating a little faster at the thought of getting to see and touch Felipe, to reassure himself in the way that they both needed. God, it’d been too long. God, he really needed it after today.

 

On the right floor, he shoved his key in the door and barged in. The curtains were drawn in the living room, though open in other rooms. Yep, that was about right for Felipe. And there were his clothes, sloppy and tantalising, spread across the floor as he’d no-doubt shed them on his way to…ah, to the bathroom, good call. Rob dropped his bags off on the sofa and quickly stripped off his shirt. The last time he’d regretted Ferrari’s blood-red shirts had been in Hungary.

 

When he pushed the bathroom door open, he was greeted by a cloud of steam. Waving a hand in front of his face, Rob was eventually able to discern Felipe, immersed in the enormous bathtub that dominated the room. His hair was slick with moisture and his face was close enough to contentment to ease something balled-up tight under Rob’s heart. Felipe was fine.

 

The man in question cracked open both eyes. “You make me wait.”

 

Rob snorted and shucked off the rest of his clothing. “ _You_ made me late.”

 

Felipe’s expression puckered but he didn’t disagree. That was something right there. The Brazilian had to know what fucking torment Rob had been through since the free-practice crash, he _had_ to. Felipe shifted, the water rippling around him. He looked like some extraordinary mythic creature, all seduction and imperiousness. Rob smirked and reached out to palm Felipe’s cheek. A smile blossomed across Felipe’s face and he immediately leaned into the affectionate touch, Rob’s thumb stroking at his skin. Felipe was extraordinary all right and Rob had been reminded fresh this weekend just how much Felipe meant to him.

 

Without a word, he touched Felipe’s shoulder, indicating for him to move forward so that Rob could slip in behind. The water was warm and silky, doused in a product of some kind, and Rob could feel himself relaxing at the close contact with Felipe. Felipe himself let out a quiet sigh and settled back comfortably and trustingly against Rob. There was a sweetness and youth to the gesture that made Rob’s throat tighten.

 

God, he really loved Felipe a whole fucking lot.

 

“How’re you doing?” he asked quietly, near Felipe’s ear.

 

Felipe shrugged a little. “Sore, bruised, but I still race in Canada.”

 

Ah, good news. Rob could feel himself relax further, but his hands still travelled Felipe’s body, touching as much as they could. Felipe was fine. Felipe made a noise; he was enjoying himself, pushing back a little, very encouraging. Rob’s hands skated below Felipe’s waist and…

 

“Been waiting long?” There was a laugh in Rob’s voice as he nipped at Felipe’s tempting neck.

 

The noise Felipe made now was definitely more of a growl. Heat uncurled in Rob’s stomach and he began mouthing at Felipe.

 

“All I’ve been thinking about since Friday is getting you right here, just you and me,” he muttered with a slide of tongue on skin.

 

Felipe mewled and tried to turn around but Rob kept him facing forwards and circled a hand around Felipe’s cock, which was definitely thinking along the same lines as Rob.

 

“Come on, baby…”

 

Felipe loosed a groan and without any further prompting, started thrusting into the tight circle of Rob's fingers. The slosh of water sounded loud in tandem with the panting and the filth-soaked words that poured from Rob's mouth. He had a lot to say.

 

“Exactly like that, good lad...Oh, that's it. You've been thinking about this just as much as I have...”

 

Felipe’s thrusts became more erratic as he groaned and leaned into Rob, the engineer gently biting at his ear and nuzzling close. Felipe had a sensitive neck and Rob was going to take proper advantage. His talking so near to Felipe's face, his hot breath on Felipe's skin combined with his sure touch below Felipe's waist was a winning combination, and seeing how brilliantly Felipe reacted, how he allowed himself to fall apart so spectacularly, made Rob grow even harder and he hadn't thought that was possible.

 

“I want to feel you come, darlin', all right? You're close, aren't you?...C'mon...”

 

Felipe's eagerness was amazing, his mouth open wide, his eyes screwed up with effort and pleasure. Rob had done that. Felipe was more than fine, Felipe was...

 

There was an amazing inarticulate noise and Felipe arched, taut and strong for a second before his hips began shuddering and a string of broken Portuguese spilled from his shining lips. It was fucking gorgeous. Rob sank his teeth into Felipe's neck. The crash hadn't left many marks on the driver, but Rob was definitely going to. It was a reminder for them both; they were still here, together. They were fine.

 

They lay in the water for a while, Felipe blissful and sated and Rob nibbling at any square-inch of flesh that he took a fancy to. Eventually, he manoeuvred them both out of the tub and tugged out the plug, leaving it to drain as he led a blissed-out Felipe into the bedroom. Once they were drier, Rob nodded towards the bed.

 

“Want me to tackle the sore spots?”

 

Felipe didn't have to be asked twice. In a matter of moments, he was face down on the bed, a fucking feast of bare flesh and pert arse, and all laid out for Rob's benefit. It wasn't exactly helping his hard-on, but they'd get there and soon too. Straddling Felipe, Rob took his time searching out the knots of muscles and general tenseness that had been bothering Felipe since free-practice, his cock twitching every time Felipe shifted against him or murmured his enjoyment. It made Rob grin, seeing Felipe so pliant, especially the fact that it was his hands that'd made it happen. Result.

 

With every sweep of his hands on Felipe's skin, Rob could feel something settle more inside of him. Here was Felipe, good as gold, he'd be racing again in a fortnight, he was fine. Did Rob worry every time Felipe left the pits? Of course, but he'd never box Felipe in, demanding he find a safer line of work, a safer life, because that’s what it was for them both – a life. Formula 1 was an integral part of who they both were and at the heart of their relationship. Who would they be otherwise? How else would they have met? Rob was gonna be working at the pitwall until they carried him off, and he knew Felipe felt exactly the same. He knew what could happen every time Felipe hit the start-line. That was why they needed times like these; to be reminded of how rarely the worst case scenario actually happened. It was a nightmare, not a regular occurrence.

 

Felipe was fine.

 

Eventually, Felipe stretched and Rob obligingly dismounted, letting Felipe turn over. The Brazilian sent a lazy smile up towards his lover, and the cock so obviously straining for attention. Rob smirked back.

 

“I could feed it to you like this, force it past your lips and hear you moan and choke...” he paused, as Felipe's pupils dilated, then he sharply tapped Felipe's thigh. “But right now, I think I'd like you better on your knees.”

 

Felipe grinned cat-like, completely aware of his allure as he stretched again, showing off his neat tanned body, before he slithered off the bed to take up position in front of a seated Rob. Rob kept his eyes focused on Felipe, the driver languorously wrapping his lips around the hard length bobbing in front of him. Rob sucked in a sharp breath and buried a hand in Felipe's damp hair, tugging him into using an angle that worked better. Felipe was as eager on his knees as he was in the bathtub, moaning around Rob's cock and using tongue and teeth skilfully. He was quite a sight, all big liquid eyes, dirty smile, and loud slurps. He was everything Rob wanted and needed and he knew it. They both did.

 

“Good boy...Oh, that's fucking...amazing, _fuck_...yes...ahhhh.”

 

Rob couldn't help letting his mouth run. It was who he was and it was what Felipe needed. He liked having Rob's voice in his ear, a fact that Rob had discovered to his immense filthy delight one memorable weekend in America. The race hadn't been terrific but the aftermath fucking had been.

 

Felipe was being cheeky now, bringing Rob right to the edge and not driving him over. Rob tugged at his hair hard enough to put his point across and Felipe was all apologetic expression as his tongue worked wildly and his groans became charmingly pornographic. Rob tipped his head back and came with a drawn-out moan and without any warning at all. Felipe didn't complain, he was downright eager to drink down every last drop and even licked his lips when Rob indicated for him to drop his cock.

 

Rob sat there, breathing heavily, for several long moments. Once fireworks stopped going off behind his eyes, he'd be fine. _Jesus fuck_ , Felipe was excellent at that. And the little bastard knew it, grinning smugly from his kneeling position. Rob thumbed at Felipe's lips.

 

“You are fucking magic,” he pronounced. “And I swear, you're gonna be the death of me.”

 

Never was a truer word spoken. The two of them were connected in the sort of visceral way that couldn't be articulated properly; it had been like that since pretty early on in their professional partnership, since even before they'd become lovers. If something devastating happened to one of them, it happened to them both.

 

That was why they needed times like these – the car got rebuilt and recalibrated and so did they. Magic.

 

Rob bent down to press his forehead to Felipe's, his eyes closed for just a second as he felt the warmth and sweat of Felipe's skin. Felipe was here, Felipe was fine. They both were, now.

 

Rob finally pulled away, his eyes saying everything he couldn't find the right words for and which Felipe shone right back at him, and got up on shaking limbs. The night was still pretty young.

 

“Come on.”

 

Felipe took his hand and they curled up on the sofa together, Felipe tucked under his chin, almost docile if not for his demanding control of the TV remote. The world mostly saw Felipe's stunning driving and occasionally bratty behaviour, he kept his inherent sweetness hidden carefully under the tough skin that lifelong racing, and the limelight that came with it, had made necessary. Rob was honoured that he got to see all of Felipe, it made something wind soft and warm around his heart. That was something that only Felipe got to know about.

 

Rob kissed Felipe's hairline, gaining a kiss on his collarbone in return. They had the rest of the night together and a couple of days before Stefano came calling, to get Felipe another medical check and Rob working on strategy for Canada. Stefano was smart, he'd give them time together first. He knew how important recovery and recalibration was for them both and therefore for the team. Stefano was a great team principal.

Rob closed his eyes, drinking in the warm body wrapped around him, the supple lips making their way across his neck and collarbone, the eager vitalness of his presence. Felipe was here and he was fine...

 

The kisses Felipe was lavishing on Rob's skin abruptly became sharp with teeth. “You think too much.”

 

Rob snorted; there was plenty he could say about Felipe's habit of not always thinking things through properly, but instead he pinched fingers in tight at Felipe's waist as payback for the bite. There were things he'd much rather focus on after all.

 

“How about you help me out with that?”

 

Felipe's smirk was a thing of filthy beauty. Rob laid back, darkest nightmares avoided and beaten back again for now, and fucking _basked_.

 

_-the end_


End file.
